PH Unitied Press (Van Nuys)
In an effort to lower maintenance costs, Dr. J. Latanzzi has begun serving legal notices at elderly homes across the Southland. Southland retirement homes have recieved dozens of eviction notices dictating to unlucky recipients to leave their premises by 4:00 pm by the end of the week. Retirement home staff will provide a gratuitous departing dinner meal.
President Bush has responded to Dr. Latonzz'si demands by sending more troops into IRAQ in an effort to thwart hostile doctors from taking over the hearts and minds of our beloved elderly.
Dr. Latanzzi and his peanut gallery were not available for comment.
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